Update: Why blogs haven't been around
Hey everybody, I hope you are well and having a great weekend :-) So I know that I have not been writing blogs lately, I am sorry. I have been trying; However since the last hospital visit in August I have really been struggling with a new en-heightened level of pain. It feels like I've been running a 40km marathon. My pain medication is just holding me on many days. . I feel like crap about myself most days, because as I struggle so greatly with this pain that I become short and agitated.- Noise, lights, sounds, someone bumping my bed. . And I feel horrible and I know I'm cranky and try to stop it but I can't. . I cry every night for what pain makes me. . Each day is very hard. . I woke up this week absolutely broken and defeated. . I questioned how much longer can I keep going in this level of pain. . So on Tuesday I sung a few songs and listened to music to help my mental state . . I was already in pain but I knew I had to do something to pull me out of the place I was in. . I have paid all week now with a pain flare for listening to the music. . Noone cant image how much that messes with you, its punishment . . For enjoying some music. . So this is why I haven't been writing, when I do get moments of breaks I'm absolutely drained. . so much so that even simple conversations take every last bit of energy. When I do talk with people they are multifaceted conversations. . . I wish I could just have a conversation hearing how my family and friends are. However, I know also that I wont get another time in the day to mention a issue or something relating to the mission. As I won't be either conscious or either in a semi level of pain where I can talk or think. . . This I feel is seen like I don't care about everyone. . . but this couldn't be further from the truth. . I care and I check in with mum to see where everyone is upto when I'm strong enough to do so. . I try to function as normal as possible; yet I'm really, really, really not well and things are beyond ducking hard right now. Everyday I'm praying for a miracle. . I know Mollies Mission runs slow and I know sometimes it looks inactive, but thats not true and there are many things going on in many places. We have the dipping groups, We have Facebook competitions, We have dips, We have GoFund me, We have Take5 writing a story on MM, We have beautiful calendars and MM merchandise, We have emails going out to media, advertisement and other sources . . We haven't been blessed with responses yet tho we're trying. And soo much more. . Thank you for all your help it means a lot! Especially when I'm questioning if I can keep up on this madness right now . . I see you all helping out and atm it reminds me to keep going. Having such a caring and loving mum & dad means the world, helps so much xoxo. Having mum help me in my daily struggles, I cannot thank you enough xoxo I am very blessed and very grateful for everyone's help and involvement xox However in saying this there are a lot who support MM & don't share our page. Please guys. . please. . I need you. . you might feel that you not sharing wont make a difference; but it does. . . Your share may find that 1 person or group who could help make a world of difference. . Your share could find someone who can network with the right people. . So please share Mollies Mission even just once a fortnight. .It will help make a difference For those who are sharing MM constantly we see you, what you've written and we've seen the help, love & care you give and it just keeps us (mum, dad myself and MM team) motivated, it reminds us that the world isn't so ugly. . It reminds me to believe in people again, It brings soooo much hope, there are no words to express just how much hope it brings. . . For this we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
until next time. . . .
Many Blessings Mollie xxx